Hi again.
It’s been a while, a long while, since I’ve posted + shared here consistently. The last 2+ years have been a deep initiation of many sorts. I have gone through the fire of death and transformation, again and again, each time being reborn into a newer version of myself while simultaneously allowing the old (pain, trauma, ptsd and old, limiting stories) to rise up, be received and courageously faced over and over.
While I could write a book on only the last two and a half years (and who knows, maybe I will), I’ll keep it as brief as I can while sharing what feels aligned to be shared.
The lessons I’ve learned have been tremendous. Through the contrast of what was a debilitating dis-ease, I’ve learned how to advocate for my needs, honor my body’s innate wisdom and release outdated programming to finally let go of the complex ptsd and trauma stored in my womb and give myself and my body permission to let it go. More on this journey in the future. For any fellow women who have experienced heavy menstrual bleeding, clotting and fibroids (typically benign tumors in the uterus), know you’re not alone. Nor, does it make you any less of a woman to experience any of the above. If I made it through to the other side (+ kept my womb), along with MILLIONS of other women, so can you. Please dm me if you need support. It was with the support of hundreds of other women that gave me the courage to advocate for my Self and ultimately have a very spiritual experience through a very western + major medicinal surgical procedure. One that I would do again if I knew my quality of life would increase dramatically after recovery.
Since recovering from surgery late last year, I have again been reborn to a deeper level. As the experience had both inner and outer parallels, I have made it through the fire to the other side as a more resilient, emotional stable and self advocating human being.
I have learned how to set boundaries and keep them. How to prioritize my peace and make it a non-negotiable. I have recognized the markers of true friendship and healthy relationship amidst the moments of challenge and hardship. It is 1000% true when said, you figure out who really loves, values and supports you during the hard times.
I have learned that LOVE is more than a feeling, it is a VERB. It is something one Does and Acts on again and again. Not just once, a handful of times or when it’s convenient. Quite often, the opposite.
It’s been during the harder seasons that I’ve shamelessly walked away from relationships and people (including family and those of whom I considered close and dear friends) and allowed myself to grieve the loss of perceived deep connection + the reality of misalignment. I thank the souls who have taught me these valuable lessons, both through the contrast and through the rising up for me in some of my darkest moments. I genuinely wish you all the best. Friends, family and otherwise.
I have since felt lighter and brighter as I continue to bravely let go, realizing that we ALWAYS have a choice in who we allow into our lives, and it is a PRIVILEGE to be in company with one another, not an obligation. I’ve also learned that deep relationship means commitment, acceptance and unconditional love when times get tough, with a fine line being drawn where respect and kindness are not reciprocated.
I have learned that family does not mean blood, it means RESPECT, unconditional love and showing up for one another through the good times and the not so good.
I’ve learned how to be a better mother, how to raise a (now) pre-teen, how to navigate being a mother while simultaneously being a woman who is still figuring out who she is while helping raise her daughter to do the same. How to be a better human being, friend, sister and overall person. How to teach and support her in doing the same. (Oh the lessons, for another post)
I’ve learned how to get back on my own two feet. Brush off the dirt from the falls, and how to rise again. I am currently in this season of breaking out of the recovery cocoon and getting back into my dharma. My divine purpose. The mission I feel called to fulfill. A big part of that is sharing, vulnerable expressing my truth, my voice AND my story…
All of the last few years’ experiences contribute to this, and all are a part of the medicine i feel inspired to share with the world.
With you.
So here I am, back again. Brand new. This is not the final version of me, not even close. As I continue to release more layers, I reveal more of my True Self, more of my EMBODIED self. Less talking the talk and soo much more walking the walk.
With that, I will be making some big announcements over the next few days, weeks and months. So please stay tuned if you’re interested in walking along this journey called life with me.
In the meantime, please follow my new business Instagram page , @embodiedwithen, a brand I am building to help empower any and everyone who is ready to break through a limiting life, transform fears and doubts, release stress and burdens of living in a distorted world, and come back to your true divine and worthy nature. I am still learning and unlearning as I go, and I know from my own experience it is so much easier of a walk when we are supported. It is my honor to be that for anyone who is open, willing and ready.
To be continued.
For now, thank you for listening. Thank you for those that have supported me, prayed for me and my daughter (my little family) and for our health and wellbeing. I am a much more full and authentic Me and it is with your love that I continue on. Alive. Well and ready to serve.
