We are SO conditioned to believe that we are meant to HIDE parts of ourSelves that make others uncomfortable.
So we only show what we THINK others will accept or be OK with…
We Give what we BELIEVE others will Receive without them judging or secretly despising you for.
We Feel what we think others will feel and we shun and push down all the other feelings in hopes to keep a friendship, romance or job (and many more things) SAFE and comfortable. 👎
Well.
I
Say
FUCK THAT.
and I don’t apologize for saying the F word. 🤷♀️
Deal with it.👌
I am tired of hiding parts of who I am in order to ATTEMPT to PLEASE everyone.
I have realized that IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Yes. I teach yoga and meditation.
Yes. I believe in LOVE.
Yes. I believe LOVE will transform this planet.
I also KNOW that facing our Shadows…
Our past.
Our SUFFERING, our PAIN –
is THE ONLY WAY we will EVER reach a Planet of Peace and Unconditional Love. 🌏
And right now, I am not even talking about the planet.
I am talking about our relationships with OURSELVES. 🤗
How can we heal a planet if we can’t look ourselves in the eye and say I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH, AS YOU ARE, WITH ALL OF YOUR IMPERFECTIONS, UNCONDITIONALLY.❤
How can we heal a planet if we can’t even heal ourselves?
My priorities these days are turned INWARD.
ALL OF THEM.
Call it selfish?
No.
Because I can give give give till I collapse on the floor, empty and depleted, and watch as others walk on by, filled with My Love and now have no reason to give anything back to me.
If we are empty, depleted and incomplete; how much good is giving, then?
(I’ll wait)
Sharing my pain, and how I am ACTIVELY healing mySelf IS STRENGTH
IS VULNERABILITY.
IS AUTHENTICITY.
IS MY TRUTH.
THIS is how we will help each other.
THIS is how WE will more Radically Change the World.
(BE the change)
Not by sharing positive quotes all day and pretending we aren’t still suffering or experiencing pain in our lives.
I KNOW, because for the last 5 years I have done this.
Like it was my religion (and it was).
I am still a KNOWER of Love and Peace and everything light and fluffy and radiant…
But I am coming to terms with my SHADOW WORK, and I can’t do this work without sharing from a place of Authenticity.
I still experience deep sadness.
I spent hours crying last night over realizing that I still have such deeply rooted wounds of NOT being good enough, or worthy enough, or LOVED.
And this is MY TRUTH.
Yes it sucks.
But it’s still inside.
Memories of my childhood, being 5 years old, walking a runway and feeling ugly, not loved and no where near as good as others, even as I received praise from strangers for my beauty and natural gifts. (Did I truly hear and absorb any of that? Nope)
Memories of my older cousins telling me I am a “Show Off” or “too much” or “too sassy” and me crying thinking I need to HIDE who I am because my family rejects me otherwise.
(Funny, they say the same thing to me about my daughter “Just like her mother -chuckle-“… I’ll be damned if I ever let those comments dim her light).
I say FUCK THAT.
Be You.
ALL OF YOU.
And turn ALL THAT LOVE you keep giving to everyone else, BACK TO YOU.
Heal You.
LOVE YOU.
DATE YOU!
Start with the Little Child within you [yes she/he is Still there (they never left)] who feels suppressed and worthless, and work on healing THAT relationship first.
Love Her (or Him).
Remind Her (or Him) that THEY ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
Beautiful ENOUGH.
Special ENOUGH.
WORTHY ENOUGH.
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH.
No other relationship will ever complete you if you First do not COMPLETE YOURSELF.
And don’t be afraid to SHARE your TRUTH.
This is the MEDICINE our PLANET NEEDS.
Vulnerability IS Medicine!!!
Expect to see more of THIS NOELANI, because that other version, she’s only a PART of who I REALLY AM.
And this Noelani is HERE WITHOUT APOLOGIES. 😘
Thank you #VenusRetrograde for helping me realize what’s still hiding within me asking to be seen, accepted and loved.
I deeply Love and Accept mySelf.
I deeply Love and Accept my past Self.
I deeply Love and Accept ALL OF MYSELF.
And So It Is.
Does this resonate with you? Share your story with me… let’s bring up the shadows and not be afraid to face them… the Time is Now!
I Love You as I Love mySelf.
💜